Seasons are Changing


Winter is gone, a new season has come, Spring.

Just as the coldness is done, the flowers and leaves start to bloom.

A new beginning. Another season to be plentiful and pleasant. 

  


In my eyes, plants are the most blissful creatures in Spring, and the most melancholic creatures in Winter.

Plants are alive. They wither. They die. After the vivid season comes the gloomy one. Life cycle. 

How I wish my feelings are like these plants. How I wish I could start anew together with these creatures, programmed to bloom in spring. Move on and live well. 

Not all plants bloom during spring. Some of them dies too. 

It’s so strange but they give me hope and happiness. I always stare at them and observe them, wondering how they were formed, in awe of the Mighty One who created and gave life to them.

I realized that if God cared for them, He cares for me too. If he restored the trees and flowers and made them vivid again, then He will make me whole again.

Somehow, somewhere, He is there to help me get over the season of brokenness, and He will give me joy to welcome the new season of my life.

Maybe not today, but in due time.

Heaven Knows (This Angel Has Flown) – Orange and Lemons HQ – YouTube

 

I read about https://anghulinghugotero.wordpress.com/2016/03/25/the-hugot-playlist-opm-edition/ and I discovered this song.

It was right to the feels, kahit pa lumang luma na. Actually, pagdating sa OPM, I prefer songs na kahit luma na, basta damang dama nung sumulat at nung kumanta yung lyrics.

There are times
When I’m lyin’ in my bed
How I bellow and cry from this stupid get
And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day
Almost rubbed-out, swelling
As I keep on
Diggin’ my face
In these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how embittered, I am

 

Ganitong ganito ako, noong sinabi niyang wala na, tapos na. Kung noon, panyo lang ang nababasa sa mga luha ko, ngayon unan ko na. Kung lahat ng feelings ko ay literal na lumalabas sa pamamagitan ng pagluha, nasa unan ko na silang lahat ngayon. I was murdered by an angel. 

Dumating ako sa time na ayoko na lang magsalita. Ayoko nang magkwento sa mga kaibigan ko tungkol sa sakit at galit na nararamdaman ko hanggang ngayon. Natatakot ako na dumating yung araw na sumuko din sila sa akin, dahil paulit-ulit na lang. I have this fear of disappointing people, and I don’t want to lose them. I can’t. 

And this is the only way I can release the pain, to cry silently. Hoping that he will find home in me again.

Thoughtless Thoughts

12234902_1137161349641425_6926104984651913477_nLife is an irony.

When you love, that’s when you get hurt.

When you already knew something’s wrong, you still go for it.

When you want to make things lucid, that’s when they get blurry.

When you almost believe that life is a boomerang, that’s when you get nothing in return.

When you felt loved, that’s when you’re not.

When everything’s dark and left unvoiced, that’s when you’re conscious of the real you.

Who’s left alone. Who’s undone. Who’s muted by his absence. Who’s addicted to his ‘mimicry of love’. 

Why is it required to answer positively when someone asks you how’s your day?

Why is it required to be okay in life? Why is it required to be jolly?

Why is it required to be heard? Why is it required to be fine?

Why is it required to be whole again?

Why do hearts get broken, and people bid goodbyes?

Why do we have to begin with strangers and end up being the same?

Why do I find it surprisingly emotional the moment you left?

 

I guess the moment you realized that life is full of irony is the moment you’ve experienced so much pain.

Irony teaches us how to balance, somehow.