Dyeing my Detainment

Many things in life happen not the way we want them to be. It is like dilly-dallying for answers in an examination when you are unsure of your choices. As a naive creature, I feel like I am being detained now. I feel like my mind is being narrowed and my world is just enough for my needs alone, no play for wandering and exploring.

I am a mere teenager dreaming of traveling, and exploring places, and here I am, given the opportunity to be overseas. Not knowing about the circumstances that I would be facing and without further knowledge of what’s going to happen, I held my heart, gathered my guts, and formed a tight fist then I finally said yes.

I am currently living away from home, and away from such precious people who helped me shaped my being, my family. Although I am with some of my friends and acquaintances, all I can say is there is really no place like home. The first few moments that I experienced when I got here is when I haven’t been expelling waste matters from my stomach (you know what I mean) for three days, because I am much more comfortable at the golden seat in our home’s comfort room. I can’t really socialize with people even though I have this strong urge to connect with them, we really can’t even because of the barrier in our language.

I really don’t know you, but as for me, I am having a difficulty handling culture shock because I am just starting my freshman year. (away from comfort zone)

At first it was really hard for me talking to people who do not know the ‘supposedly common’ language (English), but as time goes, I learned to settle with the things that are uncomfortable and with the things I thought I can’t live without. I started thinking that this ‘detainment-like’ situation is my world now, and I have to limit myself from too much negativity.

I have to start making efforts to cope up with this environment. I have to soak myself to the love of God and start thinking that He did not brought me this far just to leave me, I believe He brought me here with a purpose. I’ve got to do everything it takes, to make the most out of my detainment. I learned that being away from home whom I depended in sixteen years of my existence was challenging enough.

I became appreciative of little things. I know how to stand strong because I know how it feels stumbling. I know how to smile because I know how it feels being in despair. I was like a little kid who started learning about holding a crayon and coloring a piece of paper without direction and limitation. Even though things happen not the way I want them to be, at least I can still say, it is well.

 

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6 comments

  1. Nena · December 15, 2015

    So wonderful of you to hold on to faith in knowing there is a purpose for the opportunity you took. It is always difficult to get out of our comfort zone, but that is what it takes to see and experience great things we never imagined!

    Liked by 1 person

    • marialigaya · December 16, 2015

      Sometimes we may never understand the situation we just have to simply believe in His will. โ˜บ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. yellowwolf80 · December 17, 2015

    Awesome! It can be hard, but you will appreciate it when you look back on it. And you are right, He will not leave you hanging!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. elisabethrfoster · December 18, 2015

    I enjoyed reading this because it reminds me of the struggle I faced this semester in my freshman year of college. Although I did not go overseas, I felt the difficulty of trying to understand a new group of people even within the same continent.

    Like

    • marialigaya · December 18, 2015

      This semester is almost finished and I hope you’ll cope up with your environment soon. Fighting!

      Like

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